The law of silence
Silence is rare. On some days it doesn't exist at all.
1. You can't wait for them to go to summer camp.
2. The moment they disappear from sight, you begin to miss them, and you already miss them.
The principle of love for puppies
Your kids will definitely feed their new puppy. The day they bring him home. And in those days when you threaten them that you will give the dog back.
The first law of electricity
The electricity company must take your children into the state and pay them a salary. After all, they always turn on all the lights in the house and forget to turn them off.
Secrets of a sleepy bachelorette party
(It is a custom in America that schoolgirl friends spend the night in the house of one of them; such a bachelorette party is mostly chatting.)
Sleepy bachelorette party is designed to:
1. Gossip, giggle and tell scary stories.
2. Stuff your belly with popcorn, pizza and chocolate chip cookies.
3. Call the boys.
4. Dance in the middle of the night to unbearably loud rock music.
Sleepy bachelorette parties are not intended to:
2. Allow at least someone in the house to sleep.
If everyone in the house is sleepy and dozing off a little, then it's the day after the bachelorette party ... and this will continue all day.
1. The less time you give your children to get ready, the longer it will take to put things in order after them.
2. No matter how much time you give them, they always need more.
1. When you need help getting groceries into the house and putting them in their places, your kids are too busy sitting with their noses buried in the TV.
2. By the time you solved this problem by turning off the TV and dispersed the kids to their rooms, the ice cream had completely and irrevocably melted, spreading all over the back seat, and the meat had grown to a bit of a wind.
As soon as you lay out all the products, your kids will immediately run to the kitchen and ask what to eat.
The more pocket money you give your kids for small expenses, the less likely they are to run away from home.
The later you send them to bed, the longer they sit back.
Snow thickness forecast
1. If Santa Claus brought your child a pair of brand new branded skis under the Christmas tree, Christmas will be snowless.
2. If Santa Claus brought your child a new bike under the Christmas tree, until Easter there will be snow at least a meter thick.
Reflex "don't touch ours"
1. Any student who has higher grades than your teenager is a "nerd" and "crammed".
2. Any schoolboy who is more popular in his school than your grown-up child is "a real moron."
Difficulty with silence
1. The more noisy your teen's bedroom is, the more likely he is to study for serious exams.
2. The quieter your teen's bedroom is, the more likely he or she intends to study your manuals on beautiful sex techniques.
The logic of being late
Teens spend more time making excuses for not submitting their written tests on time than they would need to write them.
Do not expect that once your over-aged child is on the school track and field team, he will walk, run or cycle for half a mile to school. Who does this after he gets a driver's license ?!
1. Teenagers are convinced that they will never gain the much desired popularity if they do not have an expensive outfit and a high-speed sports car.
2. If they get a job after school, they will be able to afford an expensive outfit and a high-speed sports car.
3. As a result, they will be torn between school and work after school, so that they will not have a moment to reap the benefits of their popularity.
The dirty dishes dilemma
If your grown-up child does not withstand the parental pressure, gives up and wash the dishes, then do not complain that the dishes are still dirty. Unless you want it to ever wash the dishes again. (This may not be such a bad idea. And it certainly would like to nudge you towards that idea.)
If it takes up the dishes on its own initiative, it means that the next day it will have two serious exams, for which it should be well prepared.